HELP!!!

I have a real disaster on my hands - namely the raffle quilt I made to raise money for our patients' emergency fund.

This was on display in a north-facing window for 6 weeks, and look what happened!! I have quilts in that window that have been there for years -- and nothing has ever faded even a little, let alone like this. We're supposed to draw tickets and give this thing away today -- what do we do??? I don't want to give this to anyone, yet all those people bought tickets. Now what??
It's my own stupid fault - that blue fabric was some cheapie discount store fabric I got at a yard sale. Notice the red didn't fade? Yep, Quilt shop quality. Any cheapo stuff in my stash is going to the dump, I'm never taking this chance again!
(Wailing, pulling hair and generally freaking out....)

Life's Pretty Things

By now you know that I work in an environment of high emotions. We all learn to deal with losing patients/friends in different ways and varying degrees of success. Unlike nurses in a hospital who see much death of strangers, we KNOW our patients. And their families, and their pets. We see them 3 days, 4 or 5 hours at a time, every week for years. Some of them many many years, and some only a short time.

We hear intimate details of their lives, we celebrate birthdays and Fridays with them and sit talking for long hours with their loving and overwhelmed families. And somehow, even though we lose the great majority of them, we all stay in this special practice.

Today while arm wrestling with the new computer program, I tried for the 5th time to print a report that would plot for me the number of treatments we've done in any given time period - in this case I wanted June '07. Somewhere in it's teeny pinhead, the program thought I must want every last patient who has ever walked through our doors -- all 273 of them.

Now, 73 of them are current patients, and that leaves 200 or so that have come and gone in the past 8 years. Some have happily received a transplant and gone on with their lives, some moved away. And 167 of them have passed away. The number stopped me cold and took my breath away.

I knew them all. Hugged and laughed with them. Threw confetti over them when they had a particularly excellent lab result after a hard month. Fixed their prescription problems, arranged for them to travel and dialyze along the way, and argued with their insurance companies.

And of those 167 souls, I cannot remember most of them.

That thought is so disturbing I can hardly keep it in my head long enough to wrap my brain around it. How could I forget? How is it possible to remember the name and even the diagnosis, but not the eyes or the laugh? Some have left indelible impressions, good or bad, but so many are misty memories. It makes me sad, and it makes me need to touch my reality and look at my life and be sure I am seeing what I need to see. Paying attention. When I came home today I went out and took 54 pictures of parts of my life I love and make me feel good but I take for granted. I'm sharing a few of them with you because it occured to me that blogging fills part of my need for prettiness, by the sharing of your quilts and lives and your pretty things. It's not the THINGS that matter, it's the feelings they evoke, isn't it? And the people. Families, friends, patients, the church congregation and my favorite checker at the market. All the lives that have touched mine and all the lives I've touched. It's too daunting a concept to dwell on, and tomorrow I'll probably have to put it away and deal with immediate headaches. But every once in awhile I'll make a point of noticing.

Random is my middle name

I've been tagged by Julie over at Feeling Simply Quilty to name 7 random things about myself. Heck, everything about me is random! But here's my favorite facts of randomness:

1) I love to drink straight dill pickle juice. Out of the jar.

2) In one of my past lives I raced motorcycles, motocross racing in the days before girls had their own class. I raced with the boys and sometimes beat them!

3) In another past life I was a model for upscale department stores. ROFL - this one cracks me up! I have pictures so it must be so, but I can't imagine doing that now, even if I still had that body!

4) I have a metal plate screwed into my neck. This is to insure that I don't lose my head, cos I would if it weren't screwed on!

5) I have been married 4 times since age 16. Slow learner.

6) I cry every time I hear the National Anthem, and I'm a mess at the opening ceremonies of rodeos.

7) I only have a kitchen because it came with the house. Once those kids grew up, every culinary skill I ever tried to hone went right out the window.

I could go on and on, like I said I am all about random. The only thing connecting the current me to the past me is that I still have brown eyes - other than that, I'm reinvented about every 6 years or so. Gee thanks Julie! That was kind of fun! Now......who can I tag? Hmmm......I'll have to check around and see who hasn't been tagged yet. You?

FLASHBACK!

Dh called me at work today and interrupted a perfectly good madhouse with this: "Do you want to go see Paul Revere and the Raiders?"
Now, if you're a child of the 60's of a certain age, you well know who that is, and I bet you haven't thought about them in years! I sure hadn't. But all of a sudden it's 1967 and Mark Lindsay is plastered on my bedroom walls, and I spent the rest of the day humming "Kicks". The show is tonight, and guess what? Ol' Paul himself is still the wild and crazy front man, and you won't believe who their star singer is! It's Bill Medley's kid! I can't remember his name, but if he inherited anything like his old mans voice, then he can melt the upholstery right off the chairs.
Oh, am I going? Well, no. Turns out good old Chuck only had one ticket, and even tho it was a front row seat (!) it's no fun to go alone, and there were no more tickets available. But naturally I hit the web and checked out all the players - Mark's website, found an update on Fang and some current pictures of the group. So if Paul was in his 30's as I recall, in their heyday 40 years ago (yikes!) he has to be close to or over 70 and still going like a madman - and still has long flowing blonde hair, LOL! Ahhhh, nice little trip back in time.


(And it seems like kicks just keep gettin' harder to find......)

Who Loves Pincushions?

Me!!
Go check out the pincushion swap -- sounds like fun!

The Hairless Block

Hairless because this one made me pull all of mine out!!!

The idea is that everything in this block stays the same from block to block except what is red in this one and the neutrals used in the corners. Each block will have 2 shades of the same saturated color - red, blues, purples and greens, as the star points and the diamond. Figuring out the math on this about killed me - I'm a math moron, numerically dyslexic as it were, (ahem) . I wasted so much fabric, that I had to piece out the last 2 of the corner tan squares, and I started with a FQ of it!! So now I have it figured out and written down so the next ones hopefully won't take 2 days and a sheddin' comb. And why would I tackle something that makes me crazy? Well, I hate HATE HATE making flying geese and avoid it like plague. Mine are always wonky. The best way to get past that is to do lots and lots of them, right? (sigh) I tried the method of starting with a big square and using 4 smaller squares and that has worked well so far. If I stick with it I should have it down by the time this king-sized quilt is done!
Or I'll be talkin' to Britneys' hairdresser...........

It's a BOY!!

Yippeee!! -- Jayden Daniel made his appearence today at 1:55 pm, weighing in at 7lbs, 10 oz and 21 inches long.

It was a remarkably calm birth - Mom Sandra went without any pain meds, no epidural, and barely made a squeak. She was composed and serene and stayed collected and just blew all the nurses away. Grandmas too -- we were amazed and happy. Daddy Dan didn't cry - that was just something that got in his eye. (wink) All went well and everyone is sooo happy!
And now I'm going to take a nap -- I'm too old for this stuff!!! (LOL - wouldn't have missed it for anything)

Contrasts

For a week without much sewing, maybe 15 minutes here and there, I actually did get something accomplished. This is an expirement for me - colors totally out of my comfort zone. I'm a hot red/orange/yellow -and-all-colors-that-jump-at-you kinda gal. But one should never lock oneself into a corner, so once in awhile I color outside the lines.

I also believe why use 4 fabrics when 144 will do? But, I liked the graphic-ness of it. Every once in awhile I get the urge to do a 4 color quilt, heck, maybe I'll even finish it and call it a floor quilt for the new baby boys who will be here soon. I also finished off that Blah-Blah Baby Quilt and got it bound, labeled and boxed. Shoot -- the binding is the best part! It's all pieced, and you can't tell where I joined the ends, so I'm satisfied with that.

Now - the back is a bit better so I can get on with my next project!!! And quite contrary to what I just told you - this one will be electric blue, black and white.
Go figure!

It's Rainin' Babies!

We're in the final stretch now, and it's baby shower time! I've been smokin' the Janome to get all these baby quilts ready, and my little dim bulb went off during one of them. It seems like I always battle the binding when it's time to turn it back to blind stitch. The Quilting Fairy landed on my shoulder and whispered sweetly, "So press it back, stupid!!!

OK, so I'm a slow learner and everyone else already knew this little trick - but it sure tickles me!! The first shower was last weekend for baby Jayden Daniel whose parents are Sandra and (my DS#2) Dan, below.

She squeals - "Don't take a profile!" but you know, she'll forget, and this will be one she loves. Years from now! I got one shot of Sandra reading the label of one of the quilts, but somehow I didn't get a picture of the other quilt. You can see a tiny bit of it across the knee of someone in the lower right hand corner.

As she unwrapped them, my son was practically dancing -- "Look at the label! Look at the label!!" LOL!! He knows about labels, she didn't; and they made her cry. Me too.
Despite my deadlines, (next shower is next weekend for GS#2) I didn't get any sewing done this week. Something dreadful happened to my lower back and ruined my week - and maybe next week too. I have renewed respect for everyone who lives with this all the time. It's a first for me, this not being able to walk thing. Lousy --- So x-rays, MRI and a trip to the neurosurgeon are about all that's happening here. And watching my ceiling fan go round and round. Grumble grumble.

Babies, Moms and Donkeys

Have you ever made a quilt you just plain did not like? I mean from the get-go, from fabric purchase? I did one this week:

This is for my DGS who will be born in August, the same little guy whose parents went along on the Utah trip. Mom loves soft, quiet, no-contrast colors so I went specifically looking for those types for a quilt for her first baby.
I hate it. To me, the colors are blaaah and the lack of contrast booooring. (the picture seems to be a bit more saturated than the actual fabrics) It looks like the type of "comforter" you'd buy at Sears for $19.99. I have to keep telling myself it's not for me, I may never even see it again. When you make a gift, whose tastes should be involved, anyway? Do you bestow a gift quilt in your favorite colors or the recipients? Do you even ask? **sigh** You can see a tiny bit of the border at the top: it's a nondescript plain solid beige. Goes perfectly with the other colors. I want to get it wrapped up quick.
In more interesting ideas, I've followed Ami Simms Alzheimer's project from it's inception, and was finally inspired to try my hand at a little quilt that represents my take on Altzeimers.

Against a sunny, light and happy past, are the shadows of loved ones we've lost to this horrid disease. My grandmother left us 10 years before she passed away, and her final years made me constantly think of Shadow People. This is still an idea in the making, I don't know where or how it will end up. Maybe I just need to make it for me.

I introduced you all to my darlin' donkey Paco several months back. We adopted him as a wild child from the BLM 5 years ago. He was born wild and was wild when we brought him home. He's super smart, so it didn't take me long to convince him that we're family; now he'd sit in my lap if I'd let him! He will let me walk up to him when he's lying down, and I can sit down and relax on him - he won't move a muscle, but I think he purrs.
He's been broke to halter since the beginning, but I never got around to training him to ride. DH's oldest granddaughter Devyn decided she wanted to ride him so she spent a couple days walking him around with a saddle on, and the other evening she hopped on!

I was sitting in the patio sewing on binding when she yelled for me to look - amazing! He never turned an ear, in fact in this picture he's got his eyes nearly closed! Now, this is not to say he moved around a lot - he took maybe a dozen steps when I went out there and called him to me, but he wasn't too concerned about someone on his back. We had a fun evening playing, and he loved every minute.

Another Utah pic, or maybe I should say Mom pic. We went to Bryce canyon and she spent a long while gazing out over the miles. I could only suppose what might be going thru her mind. When she finally turned around, all she said was "Puts you in your place in this world, doesn't it?" This might be one of my favorite pictures of her even though we can't see her face.
And yes, it certainly puts you in your place.

Remember

As we think about the thousands of men and women who gave their lives in service, don't forget the families of those soliders. They have also given their lives, maybe in a less visible way but gone none the less.
That warm snuggly puddle of baby grew up and died alone halfway across the world from home, and the Army couldn't find enough pieces to send to his mother. The little Princess who delighted her daddy with her dancing came home in a box, and her daddy was given a flag and told Thank You for your sacrifice. They deserve our prayers and thoughts as much as the sons and daughters they lost. Today we Remember all of them.

Sew Good Strings!

Ahhhh - - the sweet taste of Virtue!! I had a sew day here yesterday for my mini group, the Sew Goods. As it turned out, only three of us were here, and what a time we three had! Leslie and Lynn sewed their little hearts out, we all gabbed like hens all day, ate soo good food, and I cut and cut and cut.....

A laundry basket of scraps that have been building up for ages, was annihilated. I dumped the totes on my kitchen table and told Leslie and Lynn to take what they wanted 'cos I'm tired of them. I spent all day cutting up the rest!

A nice bucket of strings...... And

Nice neat stacks of squares; 3", 2 &1/2 and 5's; and some 2 &1/2 strips too. I really wanted to do the entire basket, plus 2 totes I've had for years, but my back finally gave out after about 6 hours. I have a little pile of scraps still to cut, and I'll do those today BECAUSE -- I've been hooked. Addicted, turned on, lit up & smoked; by string blocks. Just for yucks last night about 10 pm, I decided to make a couple to satisfy my curiosity. I had a piece of yuck fabric still in that basket, and I used that for backing, because I object to picking paper if I don't have to. Oh my. Well. Good gracious. I have seen the light!!

So I guess I'll have made a whole top by tonight. LOL!! I have baby quilts coming out my ears, all with a deadline, so what am I doin' playing with strings???? Good grief, this is fun. True "No Thinkum" sewing at it's best. And boy the potential! My mind was racing most of the night with ideas and colorways...... DH stood and stared at them for a long time and said - "You can call this one Helter Skelter" Hmmm...... What a fun day. Today I am all alone all day, (Yippeee!!!) because instead of the annual Bluegrass party we go to at some friends ranch, I was going to drive down to see my kids instead. DH has gone to the party without me, and now I get a call that my kids are all gone off in different directions too. SO - here I sit!! Gosh, a day alone has so much potential. I might draw the drapes and pretend I'm not here when the grands from next door come calling - is that a bad Grandma? Oh well -- Bad Gramdma, Good Quilter; it's a choice we make sometimes...LOL!!! Play on!

MXERWZZIYAXEDSQWDXCV

I really really hate those letter jumbles so I'm going to try life without them. Hopefully the creepy spammers will leave us poor innocent quilter ladies alone........

HOME, James!

Every time I go, I'm struck all over how breathtaking the whole state of Utah is. Flying into Salt Lake City and driving 200+ miles gives a very good perspective of it, too! My Mom had a huge itenerary set up of places to go and people to see, and of course that never works out like you think it should. We had a very pregnant lady, my DDIL, and a 3 year-old, and long days in a car is a prescription for misery. So we didn't see it all, but we had a marvelous visit!

My Mom looking out over Bryce Canyon. She is doing SO well! The cancer marker in her blood that started at 3300 in December, (when she was 2 weeks away from death at best) has continued to drop like a stone and is now 249. (soap-box rant here -- HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY DID THIS!!) Learning to live with insulin-dependent diabetes is her biggest problem, and she's doing quite well with that also.

This is a small abandoned store in Marysvale that I just love. Doesn't it look like a future quilt store? My step-sister and I used to get grape Nehis and sit on the bench out front, waving to traffic like crazy people. Most of that town is abandoned buildings, my next favorite thing after quilting. I cannot resist - I have to go poke around them!

This is my DS#1 - he is a geologist, and Utah is Geo-Heaven. He swore he wouldn't bring any samples home but of course he did. we did a little gold panning and he found a few flakes, but he has samples of several interesting rocks. He is 6'5" tall and 260# - a big boy, to show how big this hole in the rock is. This little rock cave-ette is about 6 feet off the ground and was facinating to me but little interest to the Geo-Guy. It was fun to have him explain the science of all that incredible scenery.

The petroglyphs at Fremont Indian Museum were incredible - I have to go see them every time I'm there. Like I'm afraid they might not be there next time I go, LOL!

Oh, quilt stores? WOW - Utah is a target-rich environment!! I searched Utah quilt stores and come up with around 100! Alas, I got to see ONE. First, in the remote corner we were in, there isn't anything let alone quilt stores, and second - when we were in civilization my travelling companions wouldn't let me find one. Harrummph! Still, a wonderful trip. My DGD was an absolute angel, so patient and well behaved and engaging - the perfect kid. Not to say she didn't have her moments, because 3 is after all, 3. Still in all, to be away from her mother for a week and in the home of (to her) strangers - she was amazing. And I am exahusted - In case anyone wonders? God knew what He was thinkin' to only give babies to young women!

And the Winner Is.....

Mary!! A big Thank You to everyone who stops by and visits, and leaves a comment. It's been a great year!!

Tomorrow I'm off to Utah for a couple of weeks - this is just too exciting. My son and DDIL are going also, and we figured out that he and I haven't travelled together in 21 years!! That was a shocker, since we were always going someplace when he was young. Seems too strange. And this trip, he's in charge, he's making all the decisions - I'm the Gramma in the back seat, so that's more strange. I'm going to enjoy that actually - he gets to pump all the gas!

Under the heading of Mixed Emotions comes the third anniversary of Tim's death, on Friday. I hate that I have to be gone then, it's the way everyone's timing worked out. DH can not handle this reality at all - he will probably never be able to deal with it. Even on his best days if someone mentions Tim, he crumples. He still can't bring up the good times, the good memories, only the bad. I wish he could. Losing a child is just so shocking, so against every Law of Nature, that accepting it is difficult at best and impossible sometimes. Losing one horribly makes it all the worse. There are no family pictures up in our house despite the 5 living kids and 8 grandkids; all the pictures are in boxes. DH can't handle seeing Tim's picture, and I will not put up the rest of the family and leave him out. Someday.

It's 220 miles from Salt Lake City airport to Moms house -- how many quilt stores are there in that stretch? I'll let you know! Bye bye!

Buffalo Gals

Dh and I have friends who have a large ranch outside of town, where they raise buffalo. BISON they'll say in retort. Whatever - they are magnificent creatures, and huge! I am 5'10", and the top of my head is about even with the top of this guys hump - very intimidating.

There's nothing gentle or friendly about them either - "domesticated" is a very very loose term! I spent 15 years around a dairy farm with large cows, and I've had horses for most of my life so large animals usually don't throw me. I think these guys could throw me tho - for sure!! We all went to dinner the other night, and before leaving we spent some time walking around the ranch, it's so beautiful. We heard gobbling and away across a pasture were these two characters:

The wild turkeys are all over the place now, and it's that time of year: they need to do their best to impress the ladies. These two were hysterical, they were so puffed up, and doing their Macho Dance, bumping chests and head butting. There was a lone female just out of this frame seemingly oblivious. we watched them for a long time, they never got tired and she never gave them the time of day!

These are her irises, about done for now but still quite a sight to behold. There's probably 150 feet or so of iris beds, several feet wide. <> - it was so nice --
The "travelling" activity is getting into high gear, no quilty stuff the past couple of days, and probably none till I get back. I feel like the White Rabbit, scurrying about checking my watch. OH NO!! My watch needs a new band! I better go write that down or I'll forget..............

Happy Mothers Day!

I hope everyone has the best Mothers Day possible, whether you are a Mom or not, whether you have your Mom or not, it's a special day for very special people - Hug a Mom!

I made myself a special MD treat:

SO unlike me -- I've been so good and managed to drop about 20# in 2 months, so this is all I made. I know me. And I'm going to be sparing with them, and enjoy them sloooowly.....

Got Mom's purse finished today,

it's a Cowboy purse, for sure. She has a remuda of horses, and loves them above anything. Of course she gets a Cowboy purse. Monogrammed, even, and lots of pockets, and horsehoes inside. What I didn't get pics of is the cell phone pocket on the side, and the Saskagewea (sp?) gold dollar that I glued over the magna-snap. Kinda cool.

Getting ready for a long trip is always a bit anxious for me -- I know I'm going to forget something. I have 5 active lists -- Work, Home, Madeline, Pack, DoBefore. Not too anal, no not me!

Out to dinner tonight to an old hotel that's been renovated, in a teeny charming town called Upper Lake. (ever hear of this one Rosy?) I'm really looking forward to this! But first, a nap - oh goody!

Happy Days!

Happy Bloggiversary to Me!!

Whoo-Hooo! I just noticed that not only is my blog one year old this week, but that last post was my #100!

Isn't it amazing, wonderful, magical how we have this space age tool available to us to get to know people we would never dream of knowing. We can 'meet' someone in our own town or across the world, and find out that we're not all that different after all.

Way too much fun -- and in the new tradition of quilt bloggers, I will draw names from everyone who comments, and send a nice little gifty to you. (Probably after I get back!) I'll draw names from a hat on the 16th, one week from today. Happy Anniversary!

As Promised!

I love LIFE - as soon as you can blink, everything changes. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but at least we can count on it! LOL - So, as promised, here is Baby Grandson Quilt #2.

Obviously LIFE was kinder to me today.
I never seem to be able to get the colors to photograph true, and I don't know if it's the camera or the computer. They're nicer than this looks, anyway.
I left work at a resonable hour and came directly home and sat and sewed, and it all just flowed along. Whoo-hoo! My plan for this evening is to cut another one. If all the pieces are cut and I have a plan, it's so much easier to pick up a few here and there, right? Once those are cut, I need to turn out a purse to take to my Mom - per my Dad's request. (Technically he's a Step, but I've known him since diaper days, so I can claim Dad) He showed me the ancient, battered bag my Mom has been using since the Carter administration and it didn't take much convincing. He put in his requirements so I have my marching orders. Oh goody!! Too much Fun, not enough Time. Anyone heard that one before?

This finished out at 48" square - good enough, huh? 2 down, 2 to go for this kid, then I get to work on new Baby Grandson #2 - due in August. He'll be going to Utah with us next week -- hee hee! Maybe he'll clue me in about colors, etc?

Whatever!

Ya know those times when you feel like this:

But you'd really like to feel like this:

Yep - today was my day. Started off all bright eyed and bushy tailed: up at 5, and sewed for 35 minutes, a first for me. I don't sew in the mornings because I'm getting ready and psyched up to go to the lions den. But, Sunday evening I started a baby quilt for my soon to be grandson and it was rolling right along so I picked it up this morning. So far so good. I really don't know where it took that terrible turn, but by noon anyway, everything I touched turned to fertilizer. By the time I got home, I was ready to get lost in this little quilt. Doncha know I sewed 2 of the blocks in sideways??? And in this setting, it mattered. Went outside to water plants, and the hose knocked over some plants in pots. Go to feed horses and as I flung the hay, it disentigrated all over me; a walking tower of donkey chow. Fed the chickens and one walked under the stream of feed and the whole thing missed the pan and went all over the ground. Collected eggs and 2 of them broke. In my pocket. Started a load of laundry - how can you mess that up? Well, if after you get it going you stand and stare thru the window at the clothes going round and round and suddenly see a cell phone; THAT'S how you can mess it up. Open a bottle of wine, you deserve it. Only half of the cork comes out, the other half is bobbing around in the white zin. How the heck do you do that??? Talent. Oddly enough, I still want to be happy! I want to get this baby quilt all together before I hit the rack tonight. I want to jiggle to the music blasting in my sewing room. So all I can do is laugh - thank goodness every day isn't like this! Tomorrow my silken smooth life will come back. Sure it will!

I'll show you the baby quilt tomorrow -- promise!!

Patty over at Morning Ramble, is a brand new Grandma, to beautiful Mei- Ling. Instead of having their little miracle at home to love and enjoy, she is in the NICU with some extremely challenging problems.

The power of prayer is a wonder we cannot explain, and I'm asking that you include Mei-Ling and her family in yours. If prayer is not a regular part of your day, please send as much positive energy as you can to a tiny baby in Texas and her scared (first-time) parents, Melanie and Casi. If enough of us believe that she'll be home soon and well, it will happen.

No quilty news from me today - except that the RWB quilt is selling tickets at an alarming rate! It's already sold over $100 worth in 2 days, and we'll be selling them for 2 months! As to what to call this venture; well, we try not to call it anything. "Raffle" quilt is an old term that fits, even tho the semantics aren't exactly what the Gaming Commission wants us to use. DH is an Investigator for our state GC, and he suggested we try to avoid calling it anything, but "drawing" or "fund-raising" won't attract any undue attention. Isn't this DUMB DUMB DUMB - we can do it, we just can't SAY we're doing it? Duuuuhhhh..........

DGD and I, accompanied by DS1 and DDIL, are leaving in 12 days for Utah to visit my Mom. DS hasn't been there in 21 years! DDIL has never been, and Mom hasn't met her Great granddaughter. Mom is extremely unnerved at the thought of anyone calling me "Gramma" - she actually asked me on the phone if that is what I am called! Ummm, that's affirmative Mom. Well, she had hoped if she ignored it, maybe I'm not quite as old as it seems and ergo, neither is she. Given her recent terminal diagnosis that was too sad to hear. I cried for an hour over that. Madeline who is 3 & 1/2, is excited about her first plane trip, and if the plane goes too fast she intends to "tell that guy to SLOW DOWN!" that guy is of course the pilot - ROFL - can you just see this indignant 3 year-old banging on the cockpit door yelling to slow down?? She won't have Mama or Daddy, just old Gramma so I hope the flight is not too traumatic.

This trip promises to be by turns wonderful and heartbreaking. How in the world do we ever learn to live with endings and loss? Will this be the last time we have 4 generations together? I can't fathom my granddaughter growing up not knowing that incredible woman, that's too strange for me to get my mind around it. Shoot - I plain can't imagine a world without her in it at all. <>