Thursday, January 04, 2007

On the design wall tonight

There's times you just have to sew, for sewings sake. I don't have anything ready and handy to mindlessly feed into the machine, so some quick stripping and voila! You have some "no-thinkum" sewing. I'll give this to the daughter of one of our patients who is expecting her first baby, and they haven't 2 spare dimes to rattle.

My step-father called me at work today, asked if I had some time and a private place to talk. I was in my office surrounded by 3 people with problems and I just walked out. He put my Mom on, and she told me about the appointment at Scripps Institute in San Diego. There is no reason to be hopeful. They 'might' have a treatment that 'might' buy her a few more months or even up to a year, but she is so debilitated already that it seems unlikely. She finally admited to being in pain and too nauseated to eat. She says she is "skeletal". They will be back and forth between Utah and San Diego for the next couple of weeks, so I am put off again, but they both promise to let me know as soon as they are settled back home. I am beyond grief again tonight. Writing always helps, and I wrote out 2 full pages of my memories of her, single spaced, one liners. Like - "Stabbing a horse in the butt with an ice pick in Montana"
and, "Doing the Twist, New Years Eve 1962". My hope is that I can get beyond the worst of this grief and shock so that when I go to visit her I can be as composed as she is. For now, I need to get this little quilt put together and quilt it at mach 4, with smoke and flames pouring out the back end of my Janome.
Thank you so much for your prayers, encouragement and comments. I'm a little surprised at how helpful that is; then again, quilters are just wonderful friends, even unseen.
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SewUniqueCreationsQuilting said...

You and your family are still in my prayers. I feel for you and can understand what you are going through. My own Mom has battle breast cancer twice in her young life. This last round was terrible. The doctors were not able to get rid of all the cancer. Mom is doing fine for now and I've gotten myself to the point where I take each day as it comes. Some days she's good and others she's not. If I may offer advice to you, keep doing what you are doing. Get your grief and anger out by blogging, sewing, or just talking to someone. I wish you and your family the best.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that your mom was able to be "real" with you on the phone, giving you some information from the DR and confessing some of her own issues. Writing is such good therapy..keep it up.

Prayers to you

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