Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Just BREATHE

I've gotten a number of really lovely e-mails making sure I'm OK. Well, yes and no. I am physically fine but heartbroken and a bit of an emotional mess. As events played out, I discovered the real reason for my husbands sudden request for divorce is the girlfriend he's been with for many many months. Put a whole new dimension on HURT. This past Sunday, 14 friends and family descended on my house shortly after he left for the day, and within 4 hours we had completely emptied 4 rooms and moved me into my own place. Those wonderful people who love me are my heros! I can't thank them enough. So now I begin the business of learning to be alone and healing. That same soon-to-be-ex is also responsible for my nearly losing my dear old friend Cuervo. He kicked my beloved cat so hard that he dislocated his shoulder, shattered both bones in his upper arm/leg and tore up the tendons. When the vet told me the extent of the damage and the cost of surgery to repair it, I had a complete meltdown - I don't have the money, having had to retain a lawyer and rent a house, I'm tapped out. The thought of losing not only my husband, but my home and then my nearly 18 year old cat was just more than I could take. I asked the vet for some time to think about it. Several hours later, the vet called me back and told me he would do the surgery, recovery, and care for free. No charge. You know those huge gasping happy sobs you just can't hold back? "I haz dem." I will not forget his kindness, and once back on my feet I'm already thinking up ways to thank him, and hopefully raise funds so that he can be able to help someone else in the future.
Meantime, LIFE goes on, and this Thanksgiving I am giving greater thanks than ever for my family.

16 month old Jayden, my flirty grandson. Is he all boy, or what? This doll can actually recognize and read several words! His Daddy has been working with him with flashcards and shocked the daylights out of me! Before the move, I was working on a quilt for my oldest granddaughter, the horse-crazy Devin. It started with Fons and Porters boot pattern:
From there I did up some silhouettes and featured them in the center:
And that's as far as it got before the design wall came down and I have no idea where that project may be now. My sewing room was packed with love by 3 quilty friends and they worked so hard! The goal of moving day was speed, not finesse, so I have a HUGE mess of boxes, bags, suitcases, trash cans, etc holding my entire stash and supplies. It will take me a long time to sort thru and get a room put back together but that's OK. I can do it, and even if her quilt is late getting to her she will love it.
Thanks to everyone for your good thoughts. I'll be slowly finding a new "normal" and you can bet that YOU will be a big part of it!
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17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can tell you from experience when a husband starts bing mean to his wife it is usually because of an affair. In their mind they are justified because the wife isn't giving them what they want so they get more moody and meaner so the wife rejects more its a cycle. So to relieve his guilt thats how he justifies his behavior. Been there done that. I was in my forties before I found this out from another man who did the same to his wives. Look at the bright side more time to quilt. A good book to help you get some perspective is: In side the minds of angry men.

Kim said...

I'm so happy to see you post again, Su Bee, because I think it means you're feeling a little more grounded. And you may be sleeping alone, but with all your friends and family around you, you won't really be alone. And what a great person your vet is! That's a truly heartwarming story. And the boot quilt? Love it! I hope you find it again before long, because it's going to be wonderful when it's done!

Taryn said...

My heart aches for you. I know that you will find your way through this and come out better on the other side. It may not always look that way, but the prayers of those of us out here that care will be there for you.

Brenda said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes, for alot of reasons. I am so glad that you are out of that place, and may you keep the strenght through all that is coming. Your Vet - he is one of the best. I am glad you have him. (((huge hug))) I don't know what I would have done to anybody who would have hurt my cat when she was still with me - it would not have been a good thing......

Think of your situation this way: she can have him. If he is doing this to you, guess who's next? And good riddance to bad rubbish.

You sound like you have great people around you. that is great. Take care.

Pam said...

{{{{hugs}}}

Pam@
www.pamgwillim.com
info@pamgwillim.com

Pam said...

Such a terrible turn of event for you - I am so sorry that you must go through something like this. It sounds like you have a great support system there for you and you are going emerge from this stronger and happier.

((Hugs for you))

elsie123 said...

Family and friends are the best thing in the world for you right now. You're blessed to have them. And there can be peace in starting this new life in a new home...you won't be looking at the old memories all the time, you're free to make new ones. And your vet? A fine example that there are truly good people out there. I really like your quilt. I've thought about making up the boots for years, and haven't done it yet.

Carol said...

What wonderful, wonderful people you have in your life...good friends and family to get you out of there and into your own place...and your vet...I have no words to express...sending you the best of thoughts! You are on the road to recovery.

Mama Koch said...

I have not been good about keeping up with my blog reading...I had no idea what you were going thru. I'm SO sorry.

Am glad that you have close friends who got you moved and to a save place. How is your kitty doing?

Julie said...

Thank you for posting & letting us know what the eventual outcome of your situation was. I, like so many of your blog friends, was puzzled & worried. I am actually relieved to know that you can move forward with your life. I am a firm believer in Karma and I know that "what goes around, comes around." Your ex will pay for his stupidity somewhere down the line. Hugs to you and your wonderful friends and that outstanding vet of yours.

black bear cabin said...

i have been following your blog for a while, but havent really commented...but i must say i am happy you are rid of that "cat kicking" jerk. let her have him! You are funny, smart, creative, talented, and better off without him (though it may not feel like it now...time, along with friends, will help heal your soul).
a new place, a new journey, and old friends....life is good!
p.s. glad your kitty is on the mend!

Lynn E said...

I am glad your furbaby is on the mend. Having helped my mother when she did the "Move" I know how wrenching it can be leaving your home. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and you sound like your getting stronger every day.
Hugs

swooze said...

Hugs...it will all work out in the end.

Sherry said...

Su, please email me privately @ crazyquiltpatcher@yahoo.com.

I would like to get the address of your vet. . .I would like to make a donation to him in honor of his kindness to you & Cuervo.

My dog just turned 15 -- he is deaf, blind, insulin dependent diabetic & has arthritis & a tumor in one of his back legs. . .and the vet practice that I go to have saved him (and me) many, many, many times.

Cuervo is lucky to have you for a Mom.

God bless you both in this new chapter of your lives.

In peace & pieces,

Sherry V.

Angela said...

I am so sorry to be late in reading this. Unfortunately I went through a cheating divorce also many years ago. I am so glad you have your family and friends for support. Lean on them. And on God.

julieQ said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. I have been there too. The girlfriend in my case was very beautiful, blond and lovely, so it was a rough thing for me too. I am so glad you are out and can now have a chance to heal and blossom eventually! Sounds like you are making great strides, painting your own space...good work girl! Lots of warm hugs from me!

Quilting Journey said...

There is so much anger in that man, Su B, that he is going to be doing a lot more damage before it's all over. Be grateful that you're out and away, now. As awful as this is, you are discovering just how amazing you truly are and just how much YOU can be and do for yourself and those you love and that love you back as you deserve to be loved. Never forget for one minute, that there are many of us who you may never meet or touch who are touched through and through by you and your healing journey. Because that is what all of these challenging years have truly been about. Discovering your own strenth, your power, and your ability to move onward. Cuevero was the final push for never going back to places you will never be again. Every thing from now on is about love, not hate, not anger, not revenge and punishment. Forward with love because you have so very much of that inside of you to share. Hugs galore.