Friday, September 12, 2008

It's all Bad

I feel like an emotional roller coaster - normally my personality is upbeat and happy, but the past few years Life has thrown some doozies at me and I fight to keep my head up.  Now I have another really BIG one.  My husband, overwhelmed by his grief and depression, has formed the opinion in his mind that I am responsible for Tims death and he wants a divorce - immediately.   To say I'm shocked is the understatement of the century - all the air has been knocked out of me.   This blog will probably be going dark for quite some time while I figure out what to do and how to do it and how to survive this.  Keep up your wonderful blogs - I love reading them and I can't get my day going without seeing what everyones' up to.  

20 comments:

~Bren~ said...

Oh SuBee. You know he is talking out of his own grief and you are in NO way responsible. I am SO SO SORRY you are going through this. I pray his mind will clear and he will see that you are experiencing the same pain he is. I wish I could hug you!!! My prayers are covering you even at this minute.

Taryn said...

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I pray that you and your husband are both able to find your way out of the abyss sooner than later.

Teresa said...

((((SuBee))))) My prayers will be with you.

~Kristie said...

SuBee - I can't imagine the pain that you and your family has experienced. I am praying that your husband will get the help that he needs to realize this was an accident, and that one day you will be able to share together the memories of the good times with your son. Make sure you take some time for yourself during this difficult time, and lean on the rest of your family and friends for support. God bless...

Carol said...

Oh SuBee I can't begin to think of words that will help make this better...I am so, so sorry...I'm sending you only the BEST thoughts!
Tons of ((((((HUGS))))))!

Pam said...

{Su} Grief and depression mess without minds in such horrible ways. Ed and I are praying for the two of you even now...and will continue to do so.

Pam
www.pamgwillim.com

Fabricfaire said...

May God Bless you with the strength you'll both need to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Fabricfaire said...

May God Bless you with the strength you'll both need to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sew Create It - Jane said...

(((hugs))) I will keep you in my thoughts at this difficult time.

em's scrapbag said...

So sorry for the rough rough time you are having. I will keep you in my prayers.

Darlene said...

Oh, Su Bee - let me just leave a huge ((HUG)) and tell you that I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

Quilting Journey said...

Su B, dear, dear woman. I am up in Alaska caretalking my beloved old folks and taking my days one by one as a result...so I am out of all loops in many ways and feeling and joining in others in so many other ways. Know that I am connecting with your heart and sending love for your wounded spirit. Things like this are so interconnected and the trigger, the catalyst and then the heart connection with sorrow through Tim's loss are all merged right now. This is about your hunny's unresolved grief and not about you. Your grief mirrors his pain and therefore seeing that mirror makes him think he can leave the pain behind through disconnecting with its reminders. Instead, he will only feel worse by running away. Hang in there. Get spiritual counsel from your dear bread maker and know that time and enduring love can heal wounds...and I mean you without or without the support of his own wounded spirit. Take care of YOU, sweet Su. You will endure.((hugs from Michele))

swooze said...

What a difficult time. I will keep you in my thoughts and wish you the best.

Sweet P said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I'm praying for both of you to find your way through this tough time.

(((((HUGS)))))

Lisa Boyer said...

SuBee, my thoughts and best wishes to you...and my heart goes out to you. I hope whatever happens is for the best and the pain is never too great to bear. Hugs.

Pam said...

SuBee, I am thinking of you and praying that it is getting better for you. I know some of the agony you are going through and I wish you all the best. You are in my thoughts. I wish your husband will heal - grief is so hard as it sneaks up on you at the worst time - when you don't even know it is still there. God Bless you both.

Anonymous said...

suBee, here i am in Brazil, praying for you,i know that its a time, a desert in your life, but God has a new time for you, He is your Pastor, Jesus is with you.( sorry about my english, but my heart is with you know)

em's scrapbag said...

I have been thinking of you. Wondering how you are doing. Hope you are seeing a light at the end of this horrid tunnel. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Em

Julie said...

I, too, have been thinking about you and wondering if this heartbreaking situation has gotten better. I hope each day that I will see a new post on your blog to say that life is good again. If positive thoughts will help in any way, add mine to the flow from us all streaming your way. Hugs from Julie in the barn.

Elaine Adair said...

Oh my dear - I am so sorry - get HIM and YOU to help-psychiatrist for the depression and then get MORE help!! Get a physically STRONG relative to CARRY that man to the Dr. Call on ALL the friends and family to HELP!

Been there, done that. Occasionally I may have spoken about "my first life" ... we could not get help when it was needed.

Thnking of you.